Monday, August 16, 2010

Homesick

There's a song lyric that goes,
"Homesick...cause I no longer know...where home is."
I guess that sums up how I started feeling 6 months ago.
Homesick.
If home is where your heart is, then I am out of place.

The geneticists have come up with a working diagnosis for Hazel-

Cerebro Oculo Nasal Syndrome

The only thing is, they have nothing to really confirm that. Nothing from her blood work indicates genetic abnormalities. According to Hazel's DNA, she should have been completely normal. And CON syndrome does not explain her hands or my condition. There are no new case studies being done in the foreseeable future so we may never know why Hazel was the way she was other than that's how she was supposed to be.

The Doctors are not concerned about a recurrence of CON syndrome if we are able to have more children. There have never been two cases in one family. They are somewhat concerned about other genetic syndromes, especially Fragile X, but I don't have the energy the worry about that now.
In other news, my kidneys have been doing really well. After a lot of blood samples and beefing up my iron for a few months I am looking good. The Doctor says I still have some extra water and swelling going on, but nothing severe. We'll talk more about what another pregnancy would mean to my kidneys when the time comes. Until then, I think they are grateful to have me stable.
And lastly...
I have been called as the 2nd counselor in the Primary Presidency or the 7th level as hell as I refer to it. I should probably censor my true feelings because the Primary President might read this, but she should know what she is getting.
I have never understood children. Not so good with them. They don't understand references to pop culture or use sarcasm, they require constant attention and over dramatization, and they are brutally honest.
I was actually voted least favorite Aunt by my own nieces and nephews. Yes, they ranked us and I was dead last. And just because telling me once would not be clear enough, they repeated it several times so I would know I was not as pretty or fun as Auntie Nikki.
I can say this though, I will be the most organized and researched counselor anyone has ever had. I am money at finding and generating ideas and information. So I am off to aspire to
awesome-ness. Go and do likewise!

11 comments:

Kristine said...

Hey Kirs, I love you. I can pretend that I know how you are feeling but I don't. I just wish I could help take away some of your pain but yet again, I can't bring back your precious baby. Just know that we remember her and we think of her and you and travis all the time.

I am 2nd counselor in Primary too. And sometimes the kids can be so bratty and then other days then can be sweet. I am sure you will do great with them. You can always sit in the back and make sarcastic remarks about them, if that makes you feel more comfortable. This is what I do half the time.

And although you may not rank as top aunt (not enough bribery going on i am sure) you definitely rank top cousin in my book.

Love you to pieces!

Smilin' sunshine said...

When I think of your sweet Hazel, I am so grateful we have the gospel. So grateful that you will be with Hazel one day in her perfect state! What a day that will be!!

You might just like being in the Primary Presidency....that was one of my all time favorite callings. Didn't think I would like it, but ended up loving it.
If you don't like it, you kind of have an in.....just let the Bishop know you are done and want to be released!!!
I am kidding, of course, as it was NOT Travis who called you to the Primary, but someone MUCH bigger than him!!

Maren and Blake said...

These were my first feelings when I was first called as 2nd counselor. I love it now. I am sure you will grow to love the children. I promise you that the older children will totally get your sarcasm and you may have some little sunbeam who declares "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga as being his favorite song. Keep us updated on how you like it.

Brittany said...

Wait...if 2nd counselor is the 7th level then I might have to argue that my calling as the Sunbeam teacher might just be the 8th level of hell. At least you're not in room full of 3/4 year olds for 50 minutes each week. GOOD LUCK!!!

Ackerman/Mejias Family said...

WE LOVE HAZEL! and I am excited to work with you in the primary. I have been in there about 10 of the 14 years I've been a member so I think I know where you're coming from!By the way, I've seen you with kids and I think they will love you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ali's 2 boys said...

I already know the primary kids love you. If there is ever any doubt just remind them that you are married to the bishop. They think he has a direct link to god himself and it often inspires them to behave better.
I personally have learned to save my sarcasm for the senior primary. I made several of the younger kids cry before someone finally clued me in.
I think you will be awesome!

Chris and Cassie said...

I am just laughing about the 7th level of Hell comment still. LOL! too funny! as i am a teacher in the primary, i can relate. maybe my feelings aren't quite as passionate as yours though, seeing as I didn't make dead last on the favorite aunt list. haha. i love you kirstin. Hang in there and know your little girl is with you everyday. She probably has a sense of humor just like yours and is laughing about your primary comment right now! :) hope so. good luck w/ the new calling and with the kidneys, i am glad they are doing better and that you are doing well. keep us posted. xoxo cass and chris

Lisa Woodbury said...

I felt the same way about primary when I first got put in, I even told the president. She didn't care and still wanted me in there. I LOVE it now. I could do sharing time every sunday until I die now.

Good luck!

Brent and Mallory said...

Ha Ha! I would just like to say I use those things about kids in my favor. Know we love you and hazel!

Kimmy said...

I have refrained in the past from posting a comment on this because I wanted you to feel free to share all of your "true" feelings about primary. It is an honor to work with you because you are the Ludlow Primary's angel and the children are so very blessed to have you with them as they learn the gospel. They adore you and your Australian/British accent;) Maybe one day we can talk about my mentality when they called me to be in the Primary here. I love you and I feel EXTREMELY blessed to be able to learn from you and rely on you and your stength.

Irmãos de luz said...

i will pray..